She lost her husband. That’s the phrase we use to describe a dead husband. We lose our husbands just like we lose a glove by dropping it in the parking lot.

If something happens. This is how we discuss a death to come. I asked a friend, “what if something happens to me?” He knew what I meant and said that’s why I have a will.

When I talked to all those customer service people last summer about transferring names and such, they all talked about my husband passing or passing away. I even saw this used in a legal document.

I don’t know if all those terms help or hurt. It’s certainly blunt to say, “he’s dead” instead of “he passed away.” Sometimes the shock value of “he’s dead” is sort of fun in a dark kind of way.

So I resolved not to use those phrases but I’m not sure that’s the right decision. I’m still mulling it over.