- Thanks to Svadilfari at Flickr
This morning I ran into Acme, our local grocery store, to pick up some produce to go with my hummus dip. Nothing too earth-shattering about that.
However, there’s a huge display of Easter candy in the front of the store. As I trot past, I think, “I better pick up some Cadbury eggs before they run out.” And then, “Oh. I wonder if Nick likes Cadbury Eggs as much as Dave did.” Because of course it no longer matters that I might not have them for Dave’s Easter Basket.
One year I didn’t buy the eggs early and then had to run all over town trying to buy Cadbury Eggs. I was left with the inferior caramel version.
All of this runs through my head and I feel such sorrow. It seems that this grief is never going to end. There’s always one more piece of glass being jammed into my heart.
Of course, I go on, buy my produce, and go off to the meeting that I’m now late for. And my day goes on.
I may go back and buy those eggs and give a couple to Nick and save a couple for myself and just eat them in memory of Dave’s Easter baskets.
Jill, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Beautiful.
Thanks, Kim. It feels good to write down my thoughts.
Jill-
This is really brave, baring your life since Dave’s passing. I really admire how well you cope. I realize you must have struggling moments of despair, but your ability to push on so well is a gift to your son and yourself. Thanks for sharing.
Ellen, sometimes I feel like I should be falling apart more but I feel that I owe it to Dave to go on and to live life well. I received a gift in being able to continue on and I want to honor that. I do have those moments of course.
Jill – I can relate, identify, and empathize. After Herschel passed away, I found myself looking at the teas and almost picked up his favorite tea. Then I remembered that he wasn’t there to drink it and I didn’t like that flavor. I didn’t buy it. I like the idea of purchasing some of the Cadbury eggs that Dave liked! Go for it! Funny how we both posted about recent shopping experiences (see my blog post from today).
The grief feelings come and go – it’s still fresh for you. Take the time you need to heal. (And consider a trip to California! It’s nice out here in the winter!!)
Love,
Sherri
I liked your post, Sherri. Thanks. A trip to California sounds great!